When I say I feel like crying my heart out now, I mean it. Like, seriously. The culture shock I've felt at IJ (or rather in a JC) has swept me so hard, I can't help but feel the memories of yesteryears slowly imprinting itself so deeply in the recesses of my heart - locked deeply they are.

Not anymore in my memory, but in my heart.

Just read Lau and Liz's blog entries and I've realised I'm not alone in this lost environment. Really, I've never felt so lost before in my life. The people, my new friends, the new environment - they differ so very greatly from my familiar perspective of SM girls. We were one big warm family, close-knitted we were. SM was a place, where people were judged by their inner self, not their outer shell or their attitudes and what nots. It's the people whom mattered so much to me. Everyone was so, true. Not only that, the teachers were also the most exceptional of their species. It was by their unfailing love and care that we st margaret's girls could broadly express ourselves and have the confidence to excel in whatever we do.

I miss everyone so badly, really.

The people, the school building itself, every single memory of SM, I cherish. No longer can I run into a class and scream for anyone who has a pad, nor play mushroom in the music room, let less scream across the parade ground or canteen.

In the new school I'm in, I can no longer sit in the most unglamorous manner; bitching is also no longer an option. We dont share the latest gossips too, cos there are none at the moment.

SM girls has a slang, I swear. I can hardly keep up to the slang of my new schoolmates. There's like a fortification erected between us, we can't really communicate. But of course, we still can laugh at the same jokes and all. Luckily my new close friend was from cedar, so I've been surviving relatively well hurhur. :D

Maybe I should have just put in a little more effort and have a try at sa or cj huh. At least that's the nearest I can get to after leaving a mission school and a school of english speakers.

I apologize for any overstatements.